in a nutshell: the memoir of one brave woman’s ten year journey through infertility and her reconciliation to becoming cnbc (childless not by choice).
what i thought: like some of the other ‘infertiles’ who have reviewed this book have said: the author’s approach is a very personable one. reading it was very much like a friendly visit over a pot of tea. pamela gave voice and validation to many of the same feelings, fears, and frustrations i have experienced over the past six years. her ability to face every infertile woman’s greatest fear: a permanently empty cradle, and yet purpose to lead a full and productive life was an inspiration to me. as we round the final bend of our own infertility journey and await the outcome, it is a tremendous comfort to me to read of cnbc women such as pamela who are, in my opinion, the unsung heroes of those who experience infertility.
why i would recommend it: this isn’t just for the infertile woman as it gives valuable insight into what it feels like to be the only one at the ladies’ lunch who does not have a birth story. the author gives a voice to the devastation of infertility that is often difficult, for those who have never been there, to understand. the appendix includes a list of ways to be supportive to an infertile friend or loved one.
in order to truly come to terms with infertility i had to stop using the fertile world as a measuring stick. i would forever be an alien if i stayed in that mindset. it was a difficult lesson to learn, but a liberating one after years of feeling inadequate and unable to fulfill the life i was supposed to be leading…i can only be at peace knowing we did our best to have children with what was available to us, pursuing the science that we were comfortable pursuing….it’s not good. it’s not bad. it’s just what happened.
this particular passage was such a comfort to me. it relieved a lot of the guilt i have felt over these past years wondering if there was something i’ve done to cause this, or something more i could be doing to alleviate it. i don’t know how many useless hours i have spent interrogating myself wondering if a failed cycle was due to that cup of caffeinated tea, if i should have pressed my doctor for more answers, should i have…? what if…? why didn’t i……? when i finally realized that this was something that just happened i felt a tremendous load taken off of my shoulders.